Every year, the dreaded conversation hearts and cinnamon hearts begin appearing in the Bulk Barns around the city. I mean—I just want to enjoy candy without the hidden meaning behind it goddammit.
Advice Please?!! The conversation heart he gave me said: “Call Me.” Does that mean call him every day from this point on? Or, like, a booty call? I’m so confused. HELP!
Okay kids—here’s how to get through Valentine’s Day this year without crying yourself stupid. I believe in you—you can do it. We can do it together.
So here’s the thing about Valentine’s Day: you don’t need a day to confess your love, like, sort-of-like, sort-of-love emotions to your people. So now that that’s cleared up, I’ll spill my guts out.
Valentine’s Day always made me feel like I was “forever alone.” Remember that phase on Tumblr? Ya—I connected to that shit. I felt like that was going to be me—like I wasn’t good enough for “love.” And, year after year, my mom’s annual Valentine’s Day gift began feeling like a slap in the face. I was twenty-something years old, and I had never been in a relationship. Sure—I’m weird, creative, nervous, paranoid, anxious, lonely, and insecure, but isn’t everyone? Okay—maybe not everyone, but certainly many people are.
So from someone that was never in a long-term relationship for all of elementary school, high school, and university—I can assure you that you are never “forever alone.” After finally getting into a relationship, and being in one for a long-er period of time, I appreciate all of the other relationships I always had in my life. Finding someone just happens—I can’t tell you when it will happen for you, but it will. Love with a boyfriend or girlfriend is amazing, but, once you fall in love, it just becomes a part of your life. You realize that you always had love in your life, but never cared to acknowledge it.
One dreaded Valentine’s Day, a few years back, my sister and I decided to host a “Fuck Valentine’s Day” party. My mom bought us cheesy stuffed animals, ribbons, and candy-galore to prepare for our big night. Do you want to know how well this love-hate party went? I mean we had an amazing time singing and watching movies with our friends, but, the revenge backfired, and my sister and I ended the night throwing-up pink candy hearts all night. I am not even lying to you right now! We ate candy hearts, chips, ice cream, chocolate, etc. and once all of that was done—we kept it going! We ate our feelings of loneliness away. Now that I’m older, and a tad wiser (I hope), I realize how silly we were.
Sure, I’m in a relationship now so I can no longer be in the “Forever Alone Club.” And, I was the head of that club in the past, because “fuck men” and “fuck relationships”—right? But, I’ll admit, my attitude’s changed a bit, and I am grateful for all of the other relationships in my life. I’m grateful for the relationships I have with my family, my best friends, my co-workers, my boyfriend, and myself. There is so much love in my life, and not just the romantic-kind-of-love we’re supposed to shame other people for not having on this day.
Valentine’s Day should never make someone feel like shit for the love they don’t have, because everyone is loved—even if they don’t see it at the time. I wish that instead of puking pink—I could have seen the love that I did have in my life at the time.
So even though Valentine’s Day does suck as a day of consumerism, promoting that we sell-out on love—let’s use it as a reminder for the love that we do have in our lives. Send your love to all of the people in your life that make your heart melt. Don’t let this day make you feel like you’re “forever alone” or “not deserving of love,” like I felt in the past. Love is easy to find if you look for it. Cheesy, breezy, beautiful ❤